2015-04-11

The Top 8 Morons Of 2014

The Top 8 Morons Of 2014

1. *WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?* 
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,
saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a
$26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter
who's lacking intelligence. 

2. *WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM FRIENDS:* 
Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to
subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his
home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered
that the man was standing beside them in the police line,
shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.' 

3. *WHAT WAS PLAN B?*
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist
and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines,
wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
bank accounts.
 

4. *THE GETAWAY!*
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money
in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store
clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up
and grabbed him.

5. *DID I SAY THAT?*
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't
control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup
to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot',
the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!' 

6. *ARE WE COMMUNICATING?*
A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and
her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?'
the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'

7. *NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!*
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold
up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb
and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his
hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)! 

8. *THE GRAND FINALE!*
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having
a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand
new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver,
no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying
to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there
may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine,
the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size
and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check
underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place,was the trailer!